Calming tool number one.

A great friend of mine whose son also has an anxiety disorder was telling me about how she uses an ipod for a calming tool. Daz and I found a MP3 player (same thing, different name! LOL) in Harvey Norman for $15. So we bought it to see if it would work. $15 - meh, not bad. If it didn't, then I would get it. No big deal.

We took EJ to the shops - THE most stressful place for him. We sat him in the trolley, headphones on while he listened to familiar music. I went to Target AND did a food shop in woolies. And I did not hear a PEEP out of EJ. Usually he is screaming the place down in 10 minutes. He didn't care that we went from shop to shop. He didn't care that he was in the trolley (which is a huge thing for him) and he didn't care what went on around him. He couldn't hear the hollow echoey sounds. All he could hear was his music. He was a very happy boy.

Yesterday in church, we bought them along. He usually starts twitching, and ticking and hyperventilating in church. I spend more time in the "Time in" spot, trying to calm him down than in the actual service. I am pleased to say the music worked a treat. The echoey sounds of the speaker were drowned out by his tunes and he sat mostly very quietly and I only had to take him out once. He wasn't hyperventilating or twitching at all.

Normally those two outings in a weekend would have absolutely sealed his fate as a nightmare for the next three days. He would be whingy, screamy, more prone to meltdowns, not compliant. This morning he's as happy as can be.

AND added to those two outings, we took him to the drive-ins to watch Ice Age 3. We all snuggled into the back of the terrecan under quilts and watched away. It was so awesome to not having him screaming that he wanted to go home. He sat so quietly the whole time.

To most this may not seem like much, but to me, being able to take this boy out of the house and into places he can't cope with - in one weekend - it's a miracle!

So thankyou Donna for the awesome idea! I don't know what I would do without you and your help. You are an ideas woman!

Results!

Yesterday was a big day!

I had a 2 hour appointment with a psychologist, who asked all manner of questions about EJ. It was hard, especially as I had to answer some pretty personal questions about myself and talk about EJ's birth in great detail. Turns out he isn't as unscathed as we thought.

Anyway, long story short, the verdict is this: EJ has some issues with self-soothing, which could be a result of his being unable to be held much as a newborn while he received care in the NICU. EJ has anxiety as well as well as some speech issues. We have been given a referall to a psychologist to help him with his anxiety, we have a referal to a speech pathologist to help him form his words better to communicate better, to eliminate that form of frustration. We also have a referal to a Occupational Therapist, because E's anxiety seems to be sensory based.

This is a good outcome... we are on waiting lists for the help that he needs. We just need to sit tight until that comes.

One good thing though is that EJ started freaking out in the psych's room - and she watched me calm him down multiple times. She said she had nothing to suggest for me, because I am already doing it and I am doing a really good job. Awwww... that's nice to know, because sometimes I feel like I am drowning and don't have a clue on what I am doing!!!

I would like to acknowledge some really great support I've had during this time: it's been tough on me emotionally and psychologically, and it's not over yet, but we are coming to the end, so it's all good.

Mum - thankyou so much! For watching E when I need to go places he won't like. Thankyou for your input, your suggestions on what to do with him, for letting me probe you to get some idea of what on earth is wrong with this kid!! Thankyou for watching the other two when I have appointments for him. I really do appreciate you.

Donna - thankyou so much for talking to me tirelessly about this whole process. Thankyou for sharing your own experiences and holding out that hope that everything is going to be ok. Thankyou for being such a positive light in this whole thing, and for giving me a shove in the right direction when I first thought that something just wasn't right with EJ. I appreciate your support and above all your friendship. You should open a shop!

And more results... I got my two assignments back. I got two HIGH DISTINCTIONS!!!!

*Skip does a little dance*

I'm so happy with that!!

I'm looking forward to the arrival of my next course. :) Not sure when that will be, but hopefully soon.

Sucked in!

Tonight I left EJ to eat his dinner while I got the girls out of the bath. I told Mop to pull out the plug. I handed her the towel and she dashed into her bedroom, wrapped in her pink towel, eager to get her warm PJ's on.

I got Milly out, and then a really loud sucking noise from the water going down the drain resonated through the house. I heard a chair scrape, and there appeared EJ, eyes wide, face panicked.

"WHERE'S MOP??"

He peered into the bathroom, "WHERE'S MOP????"

I said she was in her bedroom - EJ looked down the hall but couldn't see her. He looked back at me, his face was so anxious and I knew exactly what he was thinking. He thought his sister had been sucked into the bath drain. I could also tell he didn't believe me.

I called Mop's name. "Yes??" she yelled back.

Relief flooded this little boy's face. "Oh, she's in her room." - then he went back to his dinner.

I chuckled to myself, as I finished drying off Milly Moo. Funny boy! I love how he thinks. I love that he cared enough about his sister to be concerned that she had been sucked down the drain.

I see it!

Today we got out of the car after picking Mop up from school. I let Milly out of the car and let her toddle off to the front door. I was busy unloading Mop from the back of the car, making sure she had her bag and whatnot. I then notice that Milly has stopped dead in her tracks and was looking up at the sky.

"Moon!" she exclaimed "I see it!"

This was the first time she had seen the moon in the sky and not a picture in one of her books or on her roof with her light mobile thing.

She was so excited and filled with such awe and she continued to stare at it, her eyes wide. "I see it!" she kept saying.

Finally she dragged her eyes away and followed me into the house, an expression of the WOW factor still on her face. "Moon! Sky! I see it!"

Olivia Rose

Something wonderful happened in our family on Thursday. My Sister in law gave birth to the most beautiful Olivia Rose.



We went to see her today, making sure we were all the model of good health so we didn't make the baby and Deb sick. I got a cuddle, and I swear I got let down tingles!! The baby is so incredibly small and sooooo beautiful!



Mop had a hold, she was itching to get her hands on her small cousin and even complained that Daddy had a longer hold than she did!



Milly just stared at her in surprise but didn't want to get too close. LOL. Milly is no longer the baby of the family! E was quite lovely but he was more interested in pressing all the buttons on Deb's bed! :O Mop is talking about when she will see Olivia next and when she can get another hold. LOL
Daz had a cuddle, and he was the one that stopped her from crying, poor blossom. She settled in for a nice comfy nap until he put her back in the crib.



I think Olivia is perfection in a hot pink jumpsuit!!

Deb did amazingly well and coped with alot before Olivia finally made her appearance, including the after-effects of a car accident while she was 35 weeks pregnant. Deb looks quite good and is coping well after her c-s. Deb is such a relaxed Mum and so she will be in the swing of things before we know it.

On second thoughts....

... I'm not having surgery.

1. Everyone I have spoken to, and has had it done, said it didn't work.

2. I have a scar tissue problem - it would work with that, because I would get a build up of scarring and it would block the drains.

3. EVERYONE I have spoken to who has had the same ENT specialist has said that he butchered them, and he has you in his office for 5 minutes and recommends the operation. Looks like he is in it for the money.

So I am going to have to learn to live with acute sinusitus. So will go see another doctor and talk to him about management, rather than surgery. I'll need to get management under control before considering another baby anyway - because I can't do anti-biotics while pregnant. :) But... that is still a big IF.



... anyway....

The process with EJ is coming along nicely. I saw a Social worker today and she has given me some good practical advice to apply to help his emotional growth. The mental health people will help me with his anxiety or whatever is the problem there... if there is one. :)

I'm feeling very positive about it and I know that he is going to be a happier little boy, and I will be a better parent because of the help I am getting. My Mum is giving me alot of support. She helps me with him as well as encouraging me and letting me talk to her about this alot. When I have to go somewhere or want to go somewhere that E won't cope with, she looks after him. He happens to be president of the Nanny Fan Club, so he's happy! She's made the kids up their very own "Night Garden". In her yard she has a bridge, and around the bridge she has put little figurines from "In the Night Garden" - the kids LOVE it! I'm so blessed to have her.

Hmm what else is going on?
Study has wrapped up so I'm waiting for results and the delivery of my next course. The next one will probably be a bit more heavy, but at least it's only one subject. :)

I've been getting back into digi-scrapping. I've just found an online printer who will print my stuff for pittance, so I am so excited that I'll finally be able to print up the kids albums. :)

Righto, I better get on. Mop will be out of school in half an hour.

Oh PS: Welcome to the world Olivia Rose. She was born today. I have another niece! I can't wait to have a snuggle. :)

Let the good times roll...

For the last two years, I've been getting frequent sinus infections after every virus or cold. I saw the specialist today and his verdict is that I need surgery. I have to pay to have someone pick my nose with his scalpel!!! :)

Turns out one of my sinuses is filled with pus. BLEUGH! So he wants to drain it. Nice.

I am quite scared. My body is weird with anasthetics and so I am just a tad worried that the general will not work. I hate the thought of drips, needles and all that. My veins are awful, they never alow needles in and the whole getting a drip in process is quite traumatic for me. This whole thing is going to hurt. I'm scared. REALLY scared.

BUT on the up side. EJ has his assesment with mental health in a few weeks. I am so pleased, it came up quick!! He has been quite difficult these last few days because of the intensely busy weekend we had. On Monday night I put him to bed, and he was twitching, and ticking and having all sorts of interesting physical jerks. Poor child. He was really tired and worked up.

I went to the health shop and I have something called "Kid Calm" and we are giving them to him to see if that helps a little.

Righto, I am going to go clean my house then forget my anxiety about this operation and just bury myself into some sewing.